If I were to go 2 weeks without losing a pound I would be thrown in to the absolute depths of despair! I would go on a rampage, exercise myself sick, and starve myself and by golly i would conquer that weight!

I am at peace this time that changing weight is easybut changing the habits (i.e. lifestyle) that created the weight in the first place requires much more discipline. I believe I said in a different post that I am laying the foundation upon which the rest of my life will be built.

 So today, given that I am a month old, I did a lot of reflecting. I realize that I've been trying to conquer the exercise demon and I've been not really sure why that is such an issue for me. Like everything though, I  have come to see that it is my attitude towards exercise that has been holding me back.

Exercise is work. Exercise is not fun. If you ask most people they will tell you they do not like exercise. These are the impressions that we have in our mind. My mind, body and soul resists that which I do not like. I don't do anything I don't like any more, and that is the truth about my life now. Luckily I have the luxury of being able to choose in that regard.

So here is how I decided to see exercise… I am approaching as the new me, and I don't look at anything the way I used to. That was another life, a different woman. Now I am a person who honors myself, and the people, and beings that I come in contact with every day. A part of honoring myself is not just putting good nutritious nourishment in my body, but also keeping this vessel supple. What good is fuel if it is not expended. Fuel is meant to be used.

So to continue on this theme, and to follow what I have practiced all of my life, I am only going to do what feels good, and honor myself. What a wonderful decision. I felt like a huge pressure had been lifted. I've got it all figured out.

I had also sent away the other day for a book and DVD set on Yoga… which I have been wanting to explore for a long time. I purchased the set from Monica Matthews Yoga and it came on Wednesday. (The DVD and Manual combined was only $40).

So I hopped on the exercise bike and set it for 20 minutes and started reading. Now let me tell you that I was soon totally engrossed in what I was reading. I find it very interesting that I have been led to explore Yoga given that I am on this journey of connectivity, and exploration of self.

Yoga seems to be the right thing for me philosophically right now as well.

Before I knew it the timer was going off, and I was still reading. How about that! I pedaled for another 10 minutes so that I could end at a place that made sense in the book, and then I decided that I would like to do some lower body work.

I imagined how good it was going to feel to be in control of the muscles of my lower body while I stretched each muscle group. I truly took my time stretching, and being present for the movement, allowing myself to really feel the muscles extending and enjoying the feel of that. When I felt sufficiently stretched, I did some crunches, some lateral leg lifts, some lunges and some squats. Yes I really did enjoy it! When I was done I felt good, and as I stretched out again I took some time to marvel that a simple change in the way I saw something could make such a profound difference in the way I allowed myself to feel about it. For me it seems to be all about choice. "I am not doing this because I have to, I am choosing to do it because it feels good."

You know I even got on the bike later in the day and did another 20. hehe I wanted to read some more and didn't want to waste the time!

I feel like I have crossed another small marker on this journey. You may be wondering what the significance of the journal picture is. Obviously this online journal is very motivating to me, and hopefully inspiring to others, but I have not been really tracking exactly what I am eating nor am I writing down my exercises for the day. I think it might be helpful for me in the future if I have some kind of physical progress record, so I started writing down those things today. Won't it be fun to look back and see what a difference it made that day I decided to love moving my body!

It’s time to work out a Workout!

Wow do I feel awesome this morning. I woke up this morning filled with energy and happiness. What a wonderful way to start the day… I had almost forgotten that feeling! I even awoke before the alarm clock! Of course for all you working folks, or Mom’s of tots, waking up before an 8 AM alarm is hardly an olympic medal performance… for me it’s amazing!

Now that I have a general map of what my new eating habits are going to look like, I need to work on my exercises. Going to the gym is O-U-T! I detest doing a weight work out in a public gym, so I need to find a home routine that I will do every day.

I think I will research Yoga, and try a beginner routine today. One of my biggest problems right now is that I have been immobile for so long that yesterday my left hip and lower back were bothering me, and I was having muscle spasms if I twisted too fast one way or another. My muscles need to be gently stretched and then strengthened. So I think maybe Yoga would be a good thing to play around with. If I like it, I’ll see if there is a class at the local community center. Even though I hate weights in a public gym, I probably won’t mind Yoga in the community center. Maybe it’s because a yoga class is likely to be all women. Well, whatever the reason, I’ll just take it a step at a time and we shall see how this journey unfolds!

So how did I do yesterday? Fantastic! I ate raw all day until supper. At supper I tried a stuffed mushroom recipe that I wasn’t too fond of …. it had macademia nuts crushed with lemon, garlic and tomato. It called for cilantro, and I love cilantro but it’s an herb we only use in moderation here and only in a couple of specific dishes, so I think it gave the mushrooms a foreign flavor. At any rate, I ate 1, Justin ate 3 and Jim ate 4 and they were a little larger than golf balls! Funny thing… Justin and Jim both said they didn’t care for them at all. hehe

I also broiled some salmon steaks. That’s one of the great things about living next to the ocean. We get great sea-food. So I will be vegetarian most of the time, but don’t ask me to give up my fish!

 mmmmmmmmm Looking at that picture up there has made me ever grateful for leftovers!

OK so …. YOGA…. LOL back to that! If anyone knows a good site where I could go to learn about Yoga I will be ever grateful. As it is, I will just be surfing the internet this morning looking for what I need to start with, and then I will just dive right in!

I PROMISE to get to my first article on juicing! I’ve been talking about it for a couple of days now, and haven’t found the time to get it together. So that will be a priority. Now I need to go and juice me up a nice big mug of sunshine in a glass to start my day! Enjoy your morning. Don’t forget to acknowledge and appreciate the wondrous miracles and blessings in your life.

I am going to leave you this morning with a revelation that I experienced.

This morning as I was making the bed, I got a glimpse of myself in the bureau mirror. Normally I would look away very quickly, but today I didn’t. I stopped what I was doing and stood up. I looked at myself from the front, and from the side. I saw the large sized body there in the mirror. I placed my palms over my arms, my tummy, my hips and just looked in amazement. I have been avoiding mirrors for many years now, except for mirrors from the shoulders and up so this was a ‘discovery’ of sorts. Rather than feeling disgust, which I would have a few weeks ago, I took time to love and appreciate where I have been and what each of those cells represents.

Each fat cell on my body represents a family get together, a beer or two on the boat, a Christmas dinner, or our Boxing Day bash with our best friends. Some of them represent the pain of a dying relationship, the fear when Mom first told us she had breast cancer, the realization that my baby was a grown woman, capable and kind, caring and responsible. In fact, every single fat cell on my body tells a story, and those stories are my life. In our society, food is the central part of any event. We eat at weddings and wakes, graduations and christenings. We eat when we are happy and when we are sad. we eat when we are stressed, angry, excited, celebratory, meeting friends for the first time, and getting together with lifelong soul-mates. I recognize that there are many times when I will find a different way of recording an event than with food. That doesn’t change the fact that when I looked into the mirror I saw my life mapped out on my body, and for the first time in a very long time I appreciated what that meant.

I challenge each of you to go to the mirror this morning, and see your life in that body. And love it. Doesn’t that make you want to care for yourself?